Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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