im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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