I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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