Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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