who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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