Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize