Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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