im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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