Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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