well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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