He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
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I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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