I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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