before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
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I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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