then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize