am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize