you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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