What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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