Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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