This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
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I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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