i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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