Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize