i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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