shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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