I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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