it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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