it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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