Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize