is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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