mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize