i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize