I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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