how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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