Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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