I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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