Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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