I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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