Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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