I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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