So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize