Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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