Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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