I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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