Im at strip club and am horny
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize