Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize