I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize