i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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