if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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