her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
pray to the hookup gods
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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