my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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