Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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